Lainie Diamond

Name: Lainie Diamond
Category: Human, Possessed, Romantic Interest Character
Age: 17
Origin: Unknown
Habitat: In front of the mirrors on the basketball court
General Description: Love interest of Bobby Keller, semi-possessed by Gena Ettinger (Coleman Ettinger’s wife). Gina exists in Lainie’s subconscious and generally doesn’t affect her life too much… Other than Lainie’s sudden passion for retro music, rose-scented perfumes, and heavily laced nightgowns.
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Coleman Ettinger (when in Bobby Keller’s body)
Sworn Enemies: None
Special Powers: Looking great in a leotard
Weapons of Choice: Leotard
Weaknesses: Inability to resist hot Michael Jackson dance moves
Hobbies: Dating old men trapped in young men’s bodies
Pet Peeves: Dating young men trapped in old men’s bodies
Best Lines:
1) Thank you for a frightening, confusing, strange and dangerous time.
2) - Where do you think you are going?
- To run away from home and become a prostitute.
Total Estimated Power Rating: 6
3 Intellect Points + 2 Base Physical Strength Points + 1 Additional Points for Looking Great in a Leotard
Danger Level: Nonexistent.
Identification: Lainie Diamond! Joel’s Lainie! Lainie - the one who looks great in a leotard Lainie.
How to Avoid: Make sure not to employ any hot Michael Jackson dance moves – if you do, Lainie might find you too cute not to stalk.
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: That depends on whether you want to avoid her of to attract her. To achieve the latter – moonwalk. To achieve the former – walk away.
Suggested Killing Techniques: Spike a glass of wine with an elephant dose of soporific. Lainie would never refuse a glass of wine...
Additional Character Images:

Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- Dream a Little Dream (1989)