Coleman Ettinger

Name: Coleman Ettinger
Category: Human, Spiritualist
Age: 67
Origin: Unknown
Habitat: Bobby Keller’s body
General Description: An old gentleman whose experiment with dreams and altered states of mind caused him to possess the body of Bobby Keller, due to some highly scientific paradox in space and time continuum. What’s worse – Coleman’s beloved wife, Gena, was now forced to exist in Lainie Diamond’s subconscious. Unfortunately the only way for Coleman to reverse the experiment was to seduce Lainie, which Coleman succeeded in doing by using his special seduction techniques, Bobby’s hot teenage body, hair mousse, and Michael Jackson dance moves, which Coleman mysteriously learned at some point...
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Dinger, Lainie Diamond
Sworn Enemies: None
Special Powers: Hot Michael Jackson dance moves. Coleman's Special Fail-proof Seduction Techniques: Give her a dozen of red roses + Take her to the restaurant (the balcony table) + Dance with her + Take her for a ride in a horse carriage = She is all yours. This method has not failed Coleman in over 50 years.
Weapons of Choice: None
Weaknesses: Old ladies trapped in the bodies of teenage girls
Hobbies: Meditation, Pseudo-Tai-Chi, quoting aphorisms, pointing at things with his finger
Pet Peeves: Having to go to school again
Best Lines:
1) When you're young, every little thing seems so big.
2) Ignorance is the only slavery. Robert Green Ingersoll. 1876.
3) I am going down by my car and I am going to drink a beer. If any of you assholes care to join me – feel free.
4) Oh, my God… I’m him. Shit!
Total Estimated Power Rating: 9
5 Intellect Points + 2 Base Physical Strength Points + 1 Point for Body Swapping Ability + 1 Additional Points for Hot Dancing Skills
Danger Level: Low. Coleman is just an old dude. There is nothing dangerous about him. However his pseudo-scientific experiments can be dangerous. So stay away – just in case. Especially if you see him “meditating” outside his house...
Identification: He might look like Bobby Keller, but he knows that story about the two Pilipino girls and your dog likes him even though he looks and smells like Bobby Keller, and he quotes people all the time, and also tells people to eat tofu...
How to Avoid: Do not under any circumstances take a shortcut through Coleman’s property. Try not to interact with old people in general... just to make sure. Let’s be clear on one thing - all old people want to possess your young body and make out with your girlfriend. Coleman is simply the only guy who was succeeded so far...
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: If Coleman is trying to get inside your head – don’t just give up – fight him. Don’t let him use your body as if it was a Hertz budget-sized rental car.
Suggested Killing Techniques: If Coleman is already in the possession of your body, killing him will limit your chances of living again. Wait until you’re a back in your body and dispose of him then.
Additional Character Images:

Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- Dream a Little Dream (1989)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Cool! :)