Name: Conal CochranCategory: Human, Wizard
Age: Unknown
Origin: Ireland
Habitat: Santa Mira, CA
General Description: A genius of practical jokes and a follower of the ancient Celtic Samhain cult. The brilliant inventor of sticky toilet paper, soft chainsaw, and of course the notorious dead dwarf gag. CEO of Silver Shamrock Novelties and one of the richest people in the country.
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Robotic Silver Shamrock People
Sworn Enemies: Dr. Daniel 'Dan' Challis
Special Powers: Expert knowledge of astrology
Weapons of Choice: Bluestone from Stonehenge. This mysterious stone contains an unexplainable power that can be activated and released by a blinking pumpkin image transmitted via television. Once activated, the Bluestone launches powerful laser-like beams and generates numerous insects and reptiles.
Weaknesses: His flamboyant style of evildoing makes him an inefficient villain. Some of his evil plans are simply too costly, overly elaborate, and can be easily thwarted even by aging medical doctors with an alcohol abuse problem.
Hobbies: Human sacrifice
Pet Peeves: Hates when people break his Robotic Silver Shamrock People, especially the rare collectible ones
Best Lines:
1) A Good magician never explains…
2) Enjoy a “Horrorathon,” Doctor. And don’t forget to watch the big giveaway afterwards.
3) I do love a good joke. And this is the best ever. A joke on the children.
Total Estimated Power Rating: 9
6 Intellect Points + 2 Base Physical Strength Points + 1 Supernatural Power Point for the ability to create insect infested masks
Danger Level: If Conal had unlimited time and resources at his possession, he would be capable of carrying out truly heinous crimes. If the time and resources were limited however, he would be rather useless. For example if you were to hire Mr. Cochrane to kill a kitten in Birmingham, Alabama he would move to China, create a robotic ninja army that would allow him to become a boss of a local Triad mafia, that in turn would allow him to become a very rich man, that in turn would allow him to take control over Chinese pet food manufacture, that in turn would allow him to poison hundreds of tons of pet food, that in turn would kill countless kittens, possibly including the one he was originally hired to dispose of… Clearly, efficiency is not his forte.
Identification: He is usually cruising the streets of Santa Mira, CA in his old limo...
How to Avoid: Do not participate in anything Irish related. That does include Saint Patrick’s day – you never know, it might also be the day of some ancient pagan holiday that usually includes a mass human sacrifice via death by alcohol poisoning.
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: Pretend to be a buyer. If he asks for your name – make a dramatic pause and say it’s Smith. Joe Smith. That will fool him.
Suggested Killing Techniques: Creative villains deserve creative deaths. You could turn his own weapons against himself, but that would be too simple. Instead, for example, you could quit your job and go back to school to become a genetic biologist only to feed Conal to a giant Venus Fly Trap or something… Or maybe, just maybe, you could employ your own creativity instead of relying on this guide for once.
Additional Character Images:
Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)