The Skeletons from the Haunted House

Name: Unknown
Category: Supernatural beings, Undead, Living Dead, Skeletons
Age: Unknown
Origin: Unknown
Habitat: The Haunted House
General Description: Funky skeletons with passion for music and choreography
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Spiders and Bats
Sworn Enemies: None
Special Powers:
- Each bone of the Skeletons from the Haunted House is tuned to a specific pitch of the musical scale, which allows their bodies to be used as percussion instruments.
- Amazing structural flexibility of the bones allows them to squeeze through the smallest possible openings as well as to perform dance routines of amazing complexity.
- Do not underestimate the physical strength of these monsters – they can bend metal with a truly amazing ease.
Weapons of Choice: The mere appearance of an animated skeleton can frighten even the bravest of us... Their passion for dancing does not make them any less disturbing.
Weaknesses: The bones are held together by some unknown power and tend to often get disjointed, turning these monsters into piles of bones... Conveniently the skeletons can quickly reassemble themselves at a moment's notice. This process has not yet been explained by the scientists and further research of this phenomena is needed.
Hobbies: Dancing of course!
Pet Peeves: Victims that do not know how to play any musical instruments.
Best Lines: - Play! PLAY!
Total Estimated Power Rating: 8
2 Base Intellect Points + 4 Base Physical Power Points + 1 Shock Point + 1 Relative Invulnerability Point
Danger Level: Very low. They might scare you, but as long as you can play a funky tune you should be okey. The Undead from the Haunted House are even able to assist you in this task...
Identification: Not many of the undead share these monsters' love of dance and music, so identifying them should not be too challenging.
How to Avoid: Don't go into Haunted Houses... Especially if you can't play a tune to save your life!
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: Find the nearest music instrument and start playing...
Suggested Killing Techniques: Although these monsters are already dead we can speculate that physical destruction of the osseous matter that these monsters are made of should be sufficient. Whether you chose to grind them into powder or incinerate them is totally up to you.
Additional Character Images:

Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- Haunted House (1929)

Lillith

Name: Lillith
Category: Supernatural Being, Leader, Villain, Human Predator, Shape Shifter, Vampire, Homosexual, Lesbian
Age: Unknown – potentially hundreds or even thousands of years
Origin: The little known region of Tierra del Fuego that looks surprisingly like Pacific North-West
Habitat: McCutcheon Mortuary/Brothel (325 Bowmont, ask for the Cunningham wake)
General Description: The mother of all vampires and the most horrible woman to ever walk the Earth. A flaming lesbian with a passion for rare blood types, Lillith usually surrounds herself with female vampires and uses them to lure unsuspecting males into her lair.
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Vincent the Villainous Midget
Sworn Enemies: Rafe Guttman
Special Powers: In addition to the basic vampire staple such as super strength and shape-shifting, Lillith possesses advanced immortality skills - she may be taken out of action, but she cannot be killed.
Weapons of Choice: Tongue-tacle, which Lillith uses to choke her victims while simultaneously pushing their hearts out. Unlike her brethren, Lillith does not limit herself to blood sucking via two tiny holes in the neck and often prefers freshly squeezed hearts.
Weaknesses: Lillith can be easily controlled by anyone who possesses a mysterious blood-filled object known as “the key.” Please keep in mind that the key inexplicably explodes easily breaks if dropped, freeing Lillith from its control.
Hobbies: Fulfilling your wildest sexual fantasies... like masturbating cheerleaders (???) and Marilyn Monroe up-skirt reenactment (Really??? You call this wild?)
Pet Peeves: Vegetarians
Best Lines:
1) Don’t eat your heart baby. That’s my job.
2) Care for a little deep throat?
3) I just love a man who gives you head… and let’s you keep it.
4) Breasts are always nice. But I prefer… Oooh.
5) First I am going to rip your dick off, then I’m going to grind your balls into guacamole.
Total Estimated Power Rating: 14
4 Base Intellect Points + 5 Base Physical Power Points + 1 Shock Point + 1 Basic Shape Shifting Point + 3 Advanced Invulnerability Points
Danger Level: High. You wouldn’t think that she is that tough when you first encounter Lillith. Especially if she happens to be in her human form. The looks are deceiving however and the boobs are fake - Lillith might turn you into a vampire and make you her lapdog, but most men she encounters end up having their hearts ripped out...
Identification: If you encounter a heavy-breasted lesbian vampiress who refuses to die when staked – you are probably dealing with Lillith.
How to Avoid: Despite many centuries of causing mayhem, Lillith has never killed a woman. She also hates the taste of vegetarian blood. Which leads us to a logical (and obvious) conclusion that being (or becoming) a vegetarian female is the surest way to avoid Lillith.
If this course of action is not available to you, you can also avoid Lillith by NOT visiting whorehouses.
If the above is not a practical suggestion either, we suggest that you visit only above-ground whorehouses, and sprinkle all your whores with some holy water – just to make sure.
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: If you find yourself stuck in the underground bordello surrounded by Lillith and her goons, you have two possible courses of action available:
a) You can surrender to them, ultimately exchanging your life for a brief encounter with silicon boobies;
or
b) You can easily escape through the chimney which leads back to the surface
The choice is yours.
Suggested Killing Techniques: Lillith is not your typical vampire – the standard stake and holy water can’t really harm her. The only sure way to disable her is by using some cross shaped puncture weapon to separate Lillith’ heart into four pieces, removing the heart from the body, and putting the pieces into separate containers to prevent them from touching each other. Sounds complicated?... It is.
NOTE: Not surprisingly the reverse process brings Lillith back to life.
Additional Character Images:

Movies Featuring the Character:
- Bordello of Blood (1996)

Julie Walker

Name: Julie Walker
Category: Supernatural Being, Human Predator, Undead, Living Dead, Zombie
Age: Late teens at the time of death
Origin: A military research facility somewhere on the West Coast
Habitat: Anywhere really – city streets, sewers, laboratories.
General Description: Julie Walker was resurrected by her boyfriend Curt Reynolds after the two of them got into a ghastly motorcycle accident. Julie became one of the living dead, however her case is truly quite remarkable. Julie is a compassionate, reasonable, and even remorseful zombie. She is capable of realizing that she is in fact undead and even be scared by this fact. Julie even attempted a suicide, something rarely heard of among the undead.
Some experts speculate that these characteristics can be explained by the relative freshness of Julie’s corpse at the time of the Trioxin exposure, or the relative lack of brain damage, while others claim that her behavior is easily explained by her ability to thwart the hunger attacks; however the argument remains very much open for further study and discussion.
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Curt Reynolds, Riverman
Sworn Enemies: Military researchers, multiracial thugs
Special Powers:
a) Ability to temporarily control her hunger by self-mutilation.
NOTE: Controlling hunger with pain is something World Hunger Relief organizations should seriously study. Considering the fact that pain is so much cheaper than food nowadays, the global hunger problem can be probably resolved within a matter of weeks.
b) Before becoming a living dead Julie’s saliva possessed a rare quality – it made magnetic key cards work on doors that they were not intended to open… or at least allowed for increased security clearance.
NOTE: This ability has not been put to the test since Julie’s untimely death. We are not even sure zombies have saliva.
Weapons of Choice: A stone in her right hand and a spike in her left
Weaknesses: Likes human brains, but feels bad about killing people. She is like a PETA vegetarian, who can only eat meat. And you thought your life sucked.
Hobbies: Did we mention the fact that she likes to eat human brains? Well, let me restate that - this is your brain; and this is your brain being eaten by Julie. Any questions?
Pet Peeves: Cheap sugar coated snacks, donuts and other snacks that don’t contain human brain tissue.
Best Lines:
1) The pain helps. The pain makes the hunger go away.
2) I’m getting hungry again.
3) Curt, help me. Are you gonna tie me up please?
Total Estimated Power Rating: 9
2 Intellect Points + 4 Base Physical Strength Points +1 Weapon Points for various sharp and blunt objects in her possession + 1 Shock Point + 1 Point for Relative Immortality
Danger Level: Medium. Sure, she is a brain-eating zombie, but she isn’t that bad really. As long as she is nowhere near you that is.
Identification: If you are talking to someone whose piercing hobby is clearly getting a little out of hand, you might be talking to Julie. If this someone is clearly distracted by something, and at the same time is constantly looking at your skull with an enthusiasm of a puppy in a dog food commercial, you might consider getting the hell out.
How to Avoid: Julie is not a very sociable individual ever since she developed taste for brains, and encountering her in public places is very unlikely.
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: Cover your skull with a hard to break object and run. She might be all chatty and seem almost normal right now, but a few seconds later she might be chowing down on your brains. If this warning came too late and your brains are in fact being consumed by Julie at this very moment, please take some comfort in the fact that Julie will surely regret killing you later... after she stuffs herself with your grey matter.
Suggested Killing Techniques: The Living Dead cannot be killed. Your best hope is that the military would capture her and turn her into a cyborg zombie, that they themselves would not be able to control. Which means there is no hope really. Start smoking and drinking today.
Additional Character Images:

Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- The Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

Riverman

Name: Riverman
Category: Homeless, American, African-American, Victim, Supernatural Being, Undead, Living Dead, Human Predator, Zombie, Enhanced Zombie, Cyborg
Age: Unknown
Origin: Unknown (possibly New Orleans)
Habitat: West Coast sewers
General Description: An altruistic, poetic, deeply philosophical individual, who is always ready to risk his life for a stranger, Riverman is everything we came to expect from sewer dwelling homeless people.
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Curt Reynolds, Julie Walker
Sworn Enemies: Military researchers
Special Powers: Very few before his death/resurrection; extreme strength and invulnerability after becoming a zombie and acquiring hydraulic exoskeleton.
Weapons of Choice: Exoskeleton limbs
Weaknesses: Before his death Riverman possessed delicious sewer-pickled brains, which made him extremely prized among the undead connoisseurs, and explains his current condition. Since he became a zombie, Riverman’s only weakness is his big heart (and other soft tissue not covered with exoskeleton.)
Hobbies: Helping upper-middle-class suburban white boys. Riverman is there when you need a helping hand navigating you through the urban sewer system.
Pet Peeves: Being drilled... And yes – we mean “drilled” as in “with an electric drill.”
Best Lines: - I saw a river swallow three men once, one time back in New Orleans. It was a night just like this. Pitch black... They were floating along just as nice as you want to. Then they round the corner and she rose up like a big old black viper, and pulled them under just like that. Swallowed them whole. Never found one of them. I saw it. I saw it all!!!
NOTE: The above quote can serve as an excellent pick up line or a conversation ice breaker. Try it immediately with that special girl you were afraid to talk to in the past and watch the magic happen.
Total Estimated Power Rating: 9
1 Intellect Points + 5 Base Physical Strength Points +1 Weapon Points for exoskeleton + 1 Shock Point + 1 Point for Relative Immortality
Power Level: High. You thought zombies were dangerous. Well, here come the cyborg zombies!
Identification: Although Riverman was hard to spot in the past, ever since he became a cyborg zombie he is virtually impossible to miss.
How to Recruit: Show him a “Mardi Gras coin.” Riverman obeys anyone who has one in his/her possession.
How to Stay on His Good Side: Don’t worry about Riverman. He is a very forgiving person, and is not going to hold anything against you. Even if you abandon him and your girlfriend eats his brains - it’s okey, Riverman is still your buddy.
What to Look Out For: Don’t lose that Mardi Gras coin! His memory is a little shaky these days, and you need to show it to him from time to time, just to keep him in check.
Additional Character Images:

Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- The Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

The Living Dead

Name: Various (Multiple Specimens. For individual articles see: Trash, ½ Woman Corpse, Freddy (zombie), Julie Walker, Riverman)
Category: Supernatural Bring, Undead, Living Dead, Human Predator, Zombie
Age: Various
Origin: Resurrection cemetery
NOTE: Although this is, in fact, the site of the first reported outbreak, potentially countless prior outbreaks could be kept under wraps by the military.
Habitat: Depends on how far they have spread by now. For all I know they might be – BEHIND YOU!
General Description: Human and Animal corpses brought back to life by 245 Trioxin. These unfortunate creatures suffer from constant pain caused by continuous decomposition. Fresh human brains seem to be the only medicine capable of easing their pain.
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Other Living Dead
Sworn Enemies: The living
Special Powers: Ability to reason (limited), ability to speak (about brains)
Weapons of Choice: Teeth. Occasionally scalpels and other weapons they succeed in obtaining from their human victims.
Weaknesses: Delicious Human Brains
Hobbies: Collecting World War II memorabilia… just kidding. It’s - Eating Brains!
Pet Peeves: Thick skulls, helmets
Best Lines:
1) Send... more... paramedics…
2) Send... more... cops
3) Get that damned screwdriver out of my head!
Total Estimated Power Rating: 7
1 Intellect Points + 4 Base Physical Strength Points + 1 Shock Point + 1 Point for Relative Immortality
Danger Level: Extremely High. The danger of these creatures lies in numbers. You could stop a single living dead, but what would you do when attacked by hundreds or thousands of these ghouls.
Identification: If you see a corpse that happens to be moving, try talking to it. If it responds – it’s one of the living dead, if not – it’s probably one of the living dead anyway. Not to mention that the Living Dead decay, smell, cannot be killed, and constantly beg for brains. Really, face to face identification is quite simple.
To identify them over the radio or telephone is more tricky, however. You may try asking them a question regarding some popular current event or a current celebrity, that only a currently living person would know the answer to. Keep in mind, though, that asking who is the current president, as suggested by some, might prove to be a deadly mistake - "George Bush" might be a correct answer today, but people that died between 1989 and 1993 would give you that answer as well. Instead try something more current and fool-proof, like "What do you know about Paris Hilton?" If they answer that it's a five star hotel in France - you know you are talking to a zombie.
Note: This method does not provide a 100% accuracy. Use at your own risk.
How to Avoid: Move to Canada. Then to Europe. Then to Australia. Then to Antarctica.
Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter:
1) Call 1-800-454-8000 (or 311-555-8674, or 1-800-555-8000) and follow the instructions.
NOTE: Keep in mind we do not endorse this phone service in any way.
2) Distract the ghouls with a recording of 80s aerobics. For some unknown reason the Living Dead are mesmerized by the site of women jumping around in leotards. This method will not work all the time but is worth trying.
3) The Living Dead can be incapacitated by nitrogen (?) based projectile headshot. The effects however are temporary and sometimes last only a few minutes. This technique can only be used to slow down and advancing ghoul.
Suggested Killing Techniques: Unlike in the case of other zombie species, destroying the brains of the Living Dead does not kill them. Even severed body parts of these monsters go on living. Tactical nuclear missiles will, in fact, vaporize the existing living dead. The unfortunate side effect of this technique is that although it destroys the old living dead, it also creates new living dead by spreading 245 Trioxin into areas previously unaffected. Which defeats the purpose of using the nukes on the first place...
The only other viable alternative, is taking each individual corpse affected by 245 Trioxin, canning it inside a relatively air tight container of some sort, and trucking it in open-bed trucks to some military base with the most lax security imaginable. We wholeheartedly believe that this method is entirely fool-proof and don’t see how anything could go wrong.
NOTE: Some unconfirmed reports state that the Living Dead can be killed by electricity. These reports however don’t make any sense and I would not recommend relying on electricity as the sole means of protection.
Additional Character Images:

Movies and Books Featuring the Character:
- The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
- The Return of the Living Dead II (1988)
- The Return of the Living Dead III (1993)